“And this is how we are. By strength of will we cut off our inner intuitive knowledge from admitted consciousness. This causes a state of dread, or apprehension, which makes the blow ten times worse when it does fall” – D.H. Lawrence
Between you and me, I want to talk about my denial not the addict’s.
My denial of my loved one’s addiction.
It is a small word – denial – and yet it carries a big import. It is our own refusal to admit the truth and this causes dire consequences in our lives. And it is these social and emotional states that slowly poison us. We deny reality and postpone the inevitable. Maybe we think this gives us more time to adjust. Maybe it is just too painful to bear.
Certainly, it is all of this at once.
Addicts lie about what they are doing for self preservation. We lie about these events because the fear of reality scares us to death. We are ashamed of losing what we have. Armed with excuses we proceed into that dark hole…
He is a good kid. He is so brilliant. She had a bad mom. It isn’t fair. You don’t understand. The dog died. I just need to get through…
He’s a doctor.
I will never know how much my denial hurt my children.